30 bucks to jump a guy

moneyI'm not really sure what the going rates are these days. It's been a while. But I was drunk and he needed something from me.

I couldn't very well turn the man down now, could I?

It was actually fairly easy. I just had to maneuver myself into the right position. He really didn't do too much. It was more me doing all the work.

Oh, for god's sake people! I jumped a guy's truck at a concert. Get you minds out of the damn gutter, will ya?!

Last Thursday was the Jimmy Buffett concert. I believe it is written in stone somewhere that you MUST tailgate for this show. We had our food and were getting our drink on - my mom and I with our mojitos and my brother with his Dr. Pepper.

Buffett tailgaters

Next thing we know this guy 2 spots over was asking for jumper cables. We don't carry any, but he did find some. I offered to give him a jump and he offered me $30. We tried passing it off as a good deed and returning the money, but he finally dove into my passenger window and shoved the money between our purses.

I should have known it would be an eventful night after that. And it was.

After 2 hours I finally found my husband. No, I didn't lose him. He went with a friend who took our extra ticket. But my husband's state of mind, or lack of, is a whole other post!

My mom, my brother, and myself found a decent spot in the lawn to park our asses. I forgot about the beachballs or else I would have packed some armour. I don't know exactly how many people this place holds, other than a lot. See...

Jimmy Buffett

People bring beachballs and toss them around until it gets dark. Those fuckers hurt!!!

Thank god the music started and the balls seemed to have slowed somewhat. But once the music started, the real crazies started to come out. Like Jack Sparrow. Who knew he was a Jimmy Buffett fan?!

Jack Sparrow

I wish I could show you an awesome concert picture, but it turned out that our awesome spot got the glare from all the lights on stage. I guess I could show you a blurry yellow picture, but I think I'll spare you!

There's still some tension between my mom and I, but all in all, it was a kick ass night! I even learned a few things!

For example, it you ever have the desire to try a mojito, make your own. The pre-made stuff, especially the cheap shit, it equivalent to drinking straight shots of vodka. Yes, we were feeling pretty good before we even left the parking lot for the show!

I've also learned that coconut bikinis rarely cover one's own coconuts. And this applies to both men and women.

You're welcome for the lovely mental image! Would it help if I pointed out that the men whose coconuts were rather large also didn't like to wear anything under their grass skirts?

You're welcome!


Kmama said...

LMAO at the men not wearing anything under their grass skirts. hilarious.

Brandy said...

looks like a blast!

angie said...

Look at all those people. Sounds like a wild night! :) Loved the first part, too.

Sandra said...

Alright, you've successfully managed to fill my brain with several colourful, if not frightening images: coconut bras...
And yes, my mind had gone in the gutter within the first few lines of the post!
I am still laughing! This is a terrific post and I LOVE your writing voice!

Helene said...

My mind's always in the gutter so it didn't even phase me. In fact, I was a little comforted that you assumed it already was in the gutter because that kinda insinuates that I'm normal, right?

What a fun night, though!!! Tons of people + drinking = Gonna be one hell of a night!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I love how you started this, I was getting all kind of images in my head!!! Going to a Jimmy Buffett concert is at the top of my bucket list! And I just might bust out the coconut bra. that is after I get the girls lifted up again of course.