Not in my bed!

Love and hateI have a love-hate relationship with bugs.

To be honest, it's more like tolerate-hate.

I have come to terms that bugs will get into the house, no matter what you do to prevent that. Especially when you have kids who run in and out of the house all damn day! Flies and moths will be let in. For a while we had stink bugs. Thankfully not too many and thankfully the hose on my Dyson has a pretty good reach! Even spiders I have learned to accept. As long as the husband is home and can kill them for me!

What I don't like are the bugs that try to get personal. And by personal I mean the ones who think they can hitch hike their way in our house.

The other night I had stepped outside. I have a habit of leaving the back porch light on. We all know how light attracts bugs. Thankfully there are a few spiderwebs in the corners of the porch. This is the one and only place I like spiders - outside, eating bugs that have the potential t enter the house.

When I was ready to come back in and head to bed. I made sure the lights (in- and outside) were off and the back door securely closed and locked. I kicked my flip flops off under my computer chair, grabbed my phone, and headed upstairs. I set my pillows how I like them and smoothed out my blanket. I pulled the tie out of my forever ponytail and sat down to find something on tv to fall asleep to.

As I was sitting there, I felt something on my neck. I assumed it was my hair falling against my neck because it was now free of the forever ponytail. I shook my head ever so slightly hoping to speed up the process on my hair falling onto my neck. The crawling sensation was still there.

Thinking my head shake was a failed attempt, I reached my fingers up to my neck to run through my hair. Instead of my hair falling onto my shoulders, a bug fell onto my lap.

June bugsJune bug
Very annoying and very stupid bugs!

Ew, ew, and just ew! Bugs are not on my very short list of one 6-foot tall blond men who can touch me in my own bed.

Thank goodness my son left his flip flops by the bed. Heaven forbid I have to smoosh something with my own shoe!

The trip where I left my mark

School trips. We all go on them. I know I certainly did!

I could share about my many adventures through France and Italy. I did give a sneak peak here after all. Even though that trip may turn out to be a once in a lifetime adventure, there is one school trip that will forever stand out in my mind.

Washington D.C.

Midway through high school, my Computer Arts teacher put together a little trip for his 50 or so students. Looking back I have no idea how our trip to D.C. related to the class, but I won't complain. It was one of the first trips the husband (then boyfriend) and I took together.

We visited all of the popular tourist attraction.

Capitol building Capitol building rotunda
Outside and inside the Capitol Building

We rubbed our fingers over the names on the Vietnam Wall, desperately wishing someone had thought to bring paper.

We toured the Holocaust Museum. Tears fell from our eyes as we walked the bridge over hundreds of tiny shoes. All from children who were taken too soon. We read stories and letters of love that was not permitted to bloom. Our tears echoed as they hit the cold, grey floor.

We drove our tour bus through Arlington National Cemetery.

Arlington National Cemetery

A silent prayer was said for John F. Kennedy and we stood at attention before the Unknown soldier. The sky was filled with gray. Sadness was all around.

JFKUnknown Soldier

Not all of our time in our country's capitol was spent in mourning.

Every time I go through a metal detector, my memories of the White House come flooding back. My friend set them off numerous times. We assumed it was her earrings. After all, she had more metal than skin in her ears. Turns out it the under wire in her bra!

As we circled the Smithsonian, but never went in, we watched gray squirrels dart to and fro. If we bent down ever so slowly, one would run and eat crumbs from our hands.

Our very last day we stopped at the zoo. A zoo always makes me feel like a child, no matter what city I'm in. I vaguely remember there were Pandas, which we didn't have at our zoo back home. I also remember losing my lunch by those Pandas. And probably by a few other exhibits as well. I thought it was the rain from Arlington that made me sick. After all, didn't our mothers say you'll get sick if you go out in the rain?

Even though that trip was one I would never forget, I was as happy as a sick person could be to get back on the bus and go home. Most of the students slept in the big comfy seats on the ride back north. My friends and I sat in the back, rehashing our trip. Except for one who was hiding in the bathroom. I can only imagine what he was doing in there. I'm not sure I'll ever know because I made him get out. The last words I heard said to me from that trip were "Hey, you just puked on my shoe!".

My family and I have plans to return to D.C. in August. The husband and I are quite anxious to return. We know our kids will always remember it. Let's just hope no one gets their shoes puked on!

I would like to point out that our teacher rocked then and he rocks now. Have you ever heard of the country band, The Stickers? My former teacher is their drummer!


Party foul
Thank goodness for that! If that over there to the left wasn't true, than it would mean I didn't have a good time. Believe me, I did!

Tuesday night was my third annual trip to see Jimmy Buffett. We had a hell of a time over the past few weeks leading up to that night. In fact, last week I wasn't even sure if I still wanted to go.

The original plan was for the husband and I to go with my mom and her boyfriend. Two weeks ago the husband finally asked if my sister-from-another-mister would like to go instead. Too little too late - she couldn't get out of work. It would end up being the three of us going to the show with the hopes that we could sell the fourth ticket. I wasn't exactly thrilled. My mom is happy with her man, which makes me happy. But sometimes I don't always like him. I wasn't sure how this night would go. I am so glad I didn't do anything rash at the last minute, because we had an awesome time!

We arrived at the concert venue three hours early. The truck was barely in park when I started wondering what the liquor stash looked like. For once I didn't have to drive so I was more than happy to milk every minute of the tailgating experience!


Me and my mom
I swear it wasn't intentional
to cut the boyfriend out!

After much good food and too many some good drinks, we made our way in. After getting a good ole pat down, our tickets were scanned and I made a beeline for the port-a-potties. Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do in order to avoid a 30 minute wait for an actual toilet!

When I made my way back over to my mom and her boyfriend, he presented us with t-shirts and a lovely green margarita in this rockin' cup...


smart girls never refuse a free drink!

that's my big, blue 4 quart container behind
to show you how tall that sucker is!

We worked our way up the hill, through a sea of people, to find the perfect spot for our blanket. At that point, it was more like the only spot! There was dancing and singing by everyone. I am so glad I decided to go!

First Niagara Pavilion

We were even treated to a pretty flashy light show. Courtesy of Mother Nature. Keep in mind I said we went UP the hill to find our spot. Mother Nature is usually a bitch to me, but she was nice enough to contain her wrath until the end of the show. As soon as the last song ended, the wind picked up and what were flashes of lightening were now streaks spanning the entire sky.

As we trucked it back to the truck, all uphill, we could hear Jimmy performing his encore. Part of me wishes we would have stayed just a few more minutes. The rest of me likes to be dry and not struck by lightening.

We have already talked about going for a fourth time next year. I will make sure to plan early so my sister-from-another-mister is guaranteed to join us. Although the way her and I get when we drink, we better make sure a designated driver is in our plans again! I might also want to add Tylenol to the plans. My pounding head woke me up entirely too early the morning after the concert.

In this together

When I first announced we were expecting our first child, people were more than happy to give advice and words of wisdom. People would share which brand of diapers were better, which formula was the best, and which brand of clothing was the best for your money. They would also give you advice such as sleep when the baby sleeps, don't forget to eat, and coffee will be your new best friend.

What people don't tell you is the amount of time you will spend worrying over your child. No one tells you that when your 18 month old has a cold and is really sleepy, it is actually something more. I am grateful everyday for my mom who had dealt with an asthmatic child. She knew exactly what to do and exactly what words I needed to use when speaking with the nurse in the ER. Unless you have been through such an experience, you have no idea what it truly means to worry over every sniffle.

People also fail to tell you how much guilt is associated with parenting. When it takes two years to realize that your child may have a sensitivity to dairy, you look back at all the things you could have done different and are flooded with crippling guilt.

When you scold your youngest for hitting his sister, the guilt over yelling slowly creeps in. When your child becomes angry and starts to throw his toys, your world turns red as you place him in time-out. When he still continues to defy you, you take all of the toys he was playing with and put them away. No one tells you that the guilt over taking your child's favorite toys will make your knees buckle . Those toys granted you peace and quiet. No one tells you that not playing with your child and his favorite toy will flood you with guilt and bring you crashing to the floor.

When you announce you are expecting, whether it's your first or your third, someone will always be there to offer advice and words of wisdom.

I am here to tell you that you will always worry about your child. Quite often over things you never thought were important.

We know in our hearts what is right for our children, but sometimes those decisions are accompanied by incredible guilt.

Don't be afraid to share your wisdom on subjects outside of diapers, formula, and sleep. Everyone could use some help.

We are all in this together.

What doesn't kill me

What doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.

I've said this plenty of times in my life. Sometimes it's in jest, while other times it's during a rough period of my life.

Last week I finally finished the 3 crochet projects I had - 2 cup holders for the kids for when we go to Caribou and a cute little tank for me. I always have to have at least one project to do. The problem is, I get bored easily. This is how I end up with numerous projects at one time. I do have a blanket I could work on, but it's too warm for blankets. That, and I'm tired of looking at the 49872345 squares that will make up this blanket. So to Google I turned to find another project.

For a while I've wanted to make myself a sweater vest. Not one of the dorky ones that a geek would wear over a button up shirt, but a long flowing one. I wanted one with cables because I wanted to learn how to do those. Apparently cables are more of a knitting thing. That I don't do! But after hours of searching I finally found a vest that I love.

Layering tunic vest

That up there? It's exactly what I was looking for! Want a close-up of the pattern I need to figure out? Here ya go...

Layering tunic vest

If you really want your head to spin, you can click on one of the pictures to see the actual pattern. Whether you know how to crochet or not, trust me. Your head will spin. Mine did. And still is!

This sweater may be the death of me. Four rows in and I was already stuck. But if it doesn't kill me, I will surely be one strong chic!

It is what it is and it's always there

Pour your heart outBecause I feel like something should go here before I jump right into what was a difficult post for me to write.....

From Shell - just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

Anxiety is a state of uneasiness or tension caused by apprehension of possible future misfortune, danger, etc; worry (via

Anxiety is using a new recipe for dinner. Will they eat it? Is the recipe a keeper?

Anxiety is going out in public wearing clothes that fit, not baggy clothes you can hide in.

Anxiety is sending your accident prone son outside to play. It's only a matter of time before his bumps and bruises become true emergencies.

Anxiety is laying in bed listening to your daughter cough well into the night. Most illnesses trigger her asthma. It has been a long time since she has been admitted to the hospital. Will that other shoe finally drop?

Anxiety is getting in the car after the first big snow and hoping you can make it back home.

Anxiety is getting in the car to pick my husband up from work, knowing there will be traffic along the way. Will the cars behind me see that I am stopped or will I get hit again?

Anxiety is wondering where another child will fit. The husband has stated our two children are enough, yet he makes no effort to prevent a third from entering our lives. I am also partly to blame.

Anxiety is the lump in my throat, the rocks in my stomach, and the lack of words to express what I feel deep down inside.

Anxiety is thinking about what tomorrow will bring.

Anxiety is clicking publish.

I have opinions, too

Freedom of speech is something I am very grateful for. We all have our own set of opinions and beliefs, and while they may differ, that does not make one side better than the other. I do believe that we should stand for and express what we believe in, however sometimes it can be taken to an extreme.

I've seen extremes in regards to breastfeeding, politics, religion, and the list goes on and on. Some of those battles I avoid because one side will never truly hear what the other side has to say. No matter how hard you try.

In the past few months, I have had a "friend" on Facebook express her opinions on abortion. She has every right to do so, however, she doesn't seem to listen to what anyone else has to say if they don't fully agree with her.

I believe that it is a woman's choice to do what she wants to her body. An abortion is never something that I could ever have. If I knew someone who was considering one, I would do my best to give them alternatives. Having gone through the adoption process as well as having my own children young, I feel I can provide resources to another woman. At the very least, some advice. But in the end, I believe it is her choice to make, whether I like it or not.

My "friend" is extremely pro-life. I respect that. However I do not appreciate her blowing up my Facebook wall with her articles about why an abortion is wrong. I know the facts. I've seen the signs held by protesters outside my grocery store (sadly my kids have, too). She has every right to put her beliefs out there. But some of her articles and statuses are a little far fetched.

I was ready to confront her when she was telling parents NOT to sign their daughter up for Girl Scouts because they are affiliated with Planned Parenthood. First of all, Planned Parenthood does a lot more than abortions. Second, they are not affiliated with Girl Scouts.

I bit my tongue. I knew no good would come from me confronting her with the facts. I have ignored other articles she has posted because playing devil's advocate would not turn out well. But this week? I just had to click the link because it seemed so unbelievable. She was trying to spread the word that we should all boycott Pepsi because of the biotech company they work with.

According to the articles, which you can read here and here, the research company Pepsi works with uses "abort fetal cell lines to test their products" to "produce[s] artificial flavor enhancers".

Now, this seems a little far fetched to me, but I could be wrong. If you have any proof, please feel free to share. This is an interesting topic, but if you're going to post this kind of stuff online, please open your ears to listen to what the other side has to say please!

Can you smell that smell?

I've decided that I need to get in touch with a local news station. Surely someone is aware of when these days occur and the public needs to know about them.

Yesterday was asshole driver day. It would have been awesome if someone let me know about that ahead of time. If there wasn't an accident, than someone broke down. Both were causing all kids of crazy traffic.

On a side note, the accidents I passed were all minor.

If the situation wasn't one of the two mentioned, than it was some moron cutting me off or riding my ass. And those idiots who ride your ass, why do they always have to flash their lights? Switching lanes would be so much easier for all parties involved. Hopefully soon, someone will allow me to install headlights on the back of my car so I can lash them right back. The finger doesn't seem to do much to help the situation!

I think most people experience one, or all of those on a daily basis. Especially if you drive as much as I do. But yesterday was just ridiculous! But just when I thought I saw it all, I came across the asshole of all assholes!

I'm sitting at a red light in the middle of downtown when my car is suddenly filled with this weird and unpleasant odor. At first it reminded me of a skunk, but different. If that makes any sense. Then I thought maybe one of the midgets took their shoes off. Yes, their feet can kill! When they both asked what the smell was, I realized it wasn't them.

While trying to figure out what was going on, our light turned green. The car in front of us started to go, but almost turned onto the wrong side of the street. The driver quickly corrected himself and we proceeded to the same light. While sitting at that light, I could still smell something odd. Just before the light turned, I noticed the passenger of said car on front of us passing something to the driver.

All I'm saying is that I may not be as innocent as I look. I've done a few things in the past and I know what certain things look like. That was definitely NOT a cigarette being passed around that car!

Once I made the connection, it was not as easy as I thought explaining what that odor was to the kids without directly saying "They're smoking weed in the car in front us and the smell is drifting back to us".

Lucky for them, and hopefully everyone else n the road, they turned (illegally) before I could grab a pen. I'm not quick to call the cops, but I surely would have called for that!

Why do people have to turn into complete morons when they get behind the wheel?