In this together

When I first announced we were expecting our first child, people were more than happy to give advice and words of wisdom. People would share which brand of diapers were better, which formula was the best, and which brand of clothing was the best for your money. They would also give you advice such as sleep when the baby sleeps, don't forget to eat, and coffee will be your new best friend.

What people don't tell you is the amount of time you will spend worrying over your child. No one tells you that when your 18 month old has a cold and is really sleepy, it is actually something more. I am grateful everyday for my mom who had dealt with an asthmatic child. She knew exactly what to do and exactly what words I needed to use when speaking with the nurse in the ER. Unless you have been through such an experience, you have no idea what it truly means to worry over every sniffle.

People also fail to tell you how much guilt is associated with parenting. When it takes two years to realize that your child may have a sensitivity to dairy, you look back at all the things you could have done different and are flooded with crippling guilt.

When you scold your youngest for hitting his sister, the guilt over yelling slowly creeps in. When your child becomes angry and starts to throw his toys, your world turns red as you place him in time-out. When he still continues to defy you, you take all of the toys he was playing with and put them away. No one tells you that the guilt over taking your child's favorite toys will make your knees buckle . Those toys granted you peace and quiet. No one tells you that not playing with your child and his favorite toy will flood you with guilt and bring you crashing to the floor.

When you announce you are expecting, whether it's your first or your third, someone will always be there to offer advice and words of wisdom.

I am here to tell you that you will always worry about your child. Quite often over things you never thought were important.

We know in our hearts what is right for our children, but sometimes those decisions are accompanied by incredible guilt.

Don't be afraid to share your wisdom on subjects outside of diapers, formula, and sleep. Everyone could use some help.

We are all in this together.


Oka said...

I think a few people shared stuff with me, but I think like all other unsolicited advice, I didn't always listen very well.

Brittney said...

So true. when i was pregnant people bombarded me with old wives tales but never the real stuff that happens when u bring that little bundle of joy home.

Kmama said...

So much of parenting involves guilt. It's really hard.

On the flip side though, my mom used to try to parent by giving us guilt trips. Those were horrible and I swear I won't ever do that to my kids. My mom is a wonderful parent, but if I had to fault her for anything, it would be that.

Shell said...

It's really those "other" things us moms need help on, anyway! b/c we can try different diapers and all that, but we need help with the big stuff!

Babes Mami said...

I only got lame or outdated advice, nothing prepared me for what we were going to be getting into when we got home. Unless you count google, google was pretty helpful lol

jules said...

My children are 26 and 24 and I STILL worry about them....