Why you shouldn't be a prostitute

It's funny the things you see when you take your 10 year old daughter out for a shopping trip and a snack.

The husband and I have a date night this weekend and I wanted a pair of fancy black tights to go with my dress. My daughter loves to shop, even if it's just window shopping, so I took her with me.  It was a quick trip to Target, even though I did walk out with more than I planned.  A quick trip like this doesn't usually work up an appetite, but by the time GG and I hit the check out, she was "staaaarrrrrr-ving!!!"  My skinny little girl can eat like the typical teenage boy!

After paying, we headed over towards the snack bar when she said she wanted mac 'n' cheese.  You have to get the whole kids meal to get mac 'n' cheese and I wasn't doing that.  I told her we would drive down the road and stop at Sheetz.  They have mac 'n' cheese.

We drove down the road, avoiding construction cones and pot holes that seem to be on every. stinkin. road in this forsaken city.  As I went to make the turn into Sheetz, I noticed the light show provided by a local police car.  I assumed someone was pulled over for blowing a red light or speeding, but as I drove by, I noticed a young woman being cuffed.

In an effort to distract GG who likes all things sparkly and flashy, I started telling her about all the trips to Sheetz I made when I was younger and the crazy food I got with my friends.  She laughed at me, but I did not sway her from the decision to eat mac 'n' cheese.  We ordered, paid, and GG asked if we could sit at one of the tables outside so she could eat her food while it was still hot.  Assuming the light show was gone because once your arrested, everyone pretty much leaves the scene, I said yes.  I assumed wrong.

Sitting at the table outside is when I realized that we were witnessing an undercover prostitution bust.  Why?  Let me explain...

A total of 3 vehicles were pulled over.  The first, a gray car.  The driver was a plain clothed police man/  The second, a minivan.  The driver of said minivan was handed papers from the uniformed police man in vehicle number 3.  Minivan man was also told to drive off after the girl was cuffed.  Upon closer inspection of the girl, her booty shorts and too-small tank could have fit my 10 year old!  Am I again making assumptions?  Probably.  But it sure was funny watching her argue with the cops from the back of the patrol car, while trying to wriggle out of the cuffs.  I really hope the minivan man wasn't married.  Then it would be a sucky night for both of them.

I realize it's cruel of me to laugh at other's misfortune, but this situation is why you should never be a prostitute.  Or try to pick one.  Or if you are a prostitute or pick one up, don't get caught!

How do you supervise?

Supervise - to oversee during execution or performance; superintend; have the oversight and direction of. Also, to watch over as to maintain order.

from dictionary.com


According to this definition, supervise means more than just watching over something. It also means keeping things in order and in line. I'm pretty sure, after what happened last week, that I need to show this to the PTA at my kids' school so they can paste it on any and all permission forms. Let me explain...


This elementary school, in particular, the PTA, does a lot for the students. We have a Halloween Dance, Ornament decorating night, and family bingo. This year the officers decided to add a monthly family movie night.

The month of October held the first family movie night. There were a few bumps during the evening, but being the first of such events, it was almost expected. Last week was our 2nd movie night - Cars 2.

Both of my kids were so excited to see this movie, but especially my son. Every student in his class won 2 free tickets for being the class who brought in the most Box Tops. I dug out of popcorn bowls, my son grabbed one of his favorite blankets, and off we went.

The first half of the movie went off without a hitch, but during the second half, all hell broke loose. Some of the younger kids (Kindergarten and 1st grade) were growing restless and began to run around the gym where the movie was being shown. A few thought it was funny to stick their hands in front of the projector to block the movie. One boy was having a grand time smashing a candy necklace all over the floor. Where were his parents? Neither myself or the 2 women in charge ever figured that out.

In the back of the gym, another boy was running back and forth screaming. This boy is a first or second grader. He was also trying to scale the walls and when he was bored with that activity, eh began to smash Pop Rocks on the floor because "he liked the sound they made". Where was his mom? Again, not sure. She got up and walked out at one point. It was assumed she had to use the ladies room or stepped outside to smoke. She was no where to be found. Until 30 minutes later when she returned. Stumbling through the door, slurring her speech.

I could see by their faces that I was not the only parent annoyed with the children in the front of the room causing a disruption. With some of those troublesome kids, their parents did nothing but watch them bounce to and fro. Or look on as another student told them not to touch something, like the projector.

Regarding the boy in the back of the gym, 2 families spoke to the women in charge. They felt this child was causing too much of a disruption and they had decided to go home because of him.

It clearly states on the permission form that parental supervision is required. I guess the exact definition of supervision needs to be made clearer.

I have mostly enjoyed the first 2 movie nights, but if situations like this continue, I fear movie nights won't last long. It would be a damn shame if a large group of children have to miss out on something fun because of a handful of troublemakers.

Can't You See?

I don't always understand those around me and the decisions they make, but I make it a point to learn, empathize, or hopefully begin to understand. Lately, I have run into more people that I care to count who can't seem to look past their noses. They assume I, and my loved ones, would do things the way they would. They assume that we will side with them and turn against flesh and blood. I do not understand those who can't see around themselves. No matter how hard I try, I don't think I ever will.


I will never understand my aunt's claims to be the victim. No matter what she says, she will never make me believe. She is not the victim. She is the controller. She is the one who drives people away. Playing victim to those too kind to tell her the truth will never be acceptable to me.


I will never understand those who think I can drop everything to cater to them. My family and I were invited to a wedding. My mother-in-law planned for months the outfits she would buy my children only to find out last minute they are not invited. Upon my mother-in-law's request, or demand depending on your point of view, we opted out of attending this wedding. Because of those I failed to mail back my RSVP. My MIL, who has been avoiding their calls out of hurt for a week, finally caved and picked up the phone. She explained to the bride's grandmother my family and I cannot go to the wedding because no one is available to watch our children. The grandmother asked if my mother could watch them for the night.

How lovely it would be to have my mother, or anyone, available at the drop of a hat so I can have a much needed night out with adults. But that is not my life and she shouldn't assume that it is.


I will never understand those who believe a charitable donation should only be given to a certain group of people.

My borough is small, yet at the elementary level, it is divided in two. My children's school tries every year to raise money for a local family in need. It is a game for the students. A game they greatly enjoy. And they are all made aware of what they are doing - helping those in need. The family we are helping this year lives on the other side of the borough. How crass of someone, a teacher, to say we should help a family on our side of the borough instead. To me, that is like saying we should only support troops overseas who come from our town.


Quite often I judge and I do so too fast. I keep those opinions to myself so I can open my ears, not my mouth. My judgements may be wrong, but I will never know unless I give the time to learn more about those around me. But no matter how hard I listen, some people I will never understand.

Led Zeppelin, alive and touring?

Led Zeppelin - that's the band I went to see the other night. At least according to the Subway employee.

It has become a tradition to stop at a particular Subway for dinner when we head out to see a favorite band at our favorite concert venue. While waiting in line, a customer not from my party asked an employee if there was a concert that night. He was probably suspicious due to the higher than normal amount of traffic driving through Middle of Nowhere Town. The employee ever so nicely answered this man's question. There was a concert on this night in question and the band playing was Led Zeppelin.

Luckily me and my crew weren't quite as clueless and were able to avoid the disappointment at the ticket window once we arrived at the concert venue. Although we all like Led Zeppelin, the four of us were really looking forward to...




The husband and I went to watch Def Leppard last year and it's quite possible that it was one of the best shows I have ever seen. Not only do I love their music, but their stage show was fucking awesome!

A few months ago, when I heard the announcement that they were coming back, I begged and pleaded for the husband to buy tickets. When I mentioned the concert to my brother and sister-from-another-mister, drool spilled from their mouths as they asked to join us.

It would have been an awesome show without them, but those three people made the whole night that much better. I haven't laughed like that in a long time and my throat still hurts from all the talking, singing, and screaming.

I also need to thank my brother, again, for being so prompt in paying us back for his ticket. Because of him, I was able to purchase the t-shirt in the picture above. I also made another purchase, but it's only for the eyes of my husband. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*


So if you ever want to go see one of the best concerts ever, I highly suggest Led Zeppelin, er Def Leppard!

Can you smell that smell?

I've decided that I need to get in touch with a local news station. Surely someone is aware of when these days occur and the public needs to know about them.

Yesterday was asshole driver day. It would have been awesome if someone let me know about that ahead of time. If there wasn't an accident, than someone broke down. Both were causing all kids of crazy traffic.

On a side note, the accidents I passed were all minor.

If the situation wasn't one of the two mentioned, than it was some moron cutting me off or riding my ass. And those idiots who ride your ass, why do they always have to flash their lights? Switching lanes would be so much easier for all parties involved. Hopefully soon, someone will allow me to install headlights on the back of my car so I can lash them right back. The finger doesn't seem to do much to help the situation!

I think most people experience one, or all of those on a daily basis. Especially if you drive as much as I do. But yesterday was just ridiculous! But just when I thought I saw it all, I came across the asshole of all assholes!

I'm sitting at a red light in the middle of downtown when my car is suddenly filled with this weird and unpleasant odor. At first it reminded me of a skunk, but different. If that makes any sense. Then I thought maybe one of the midgets took their shoes off. Yes, their feet can kill! When they both asked what the smell was, I realized it wasn't them.

While trying to figure out what was going on, our light turned green. The car in front of us started to go, but almost turned onto the wrong side of the street. The driver quickly corrected himself and we proceeded to the same light. While sitting at that light, I could still smell something odd. Just before the light turned, I noticed the passenger of said car on front of us passing something to the driver.

All I'm saying is that I may not be as innocent as I look. I've done a few things in the past and I know what certain things look like. That was definitely NOT a cigarette being passed around that car!

Once I made the connection, it was not as easy as I thought explaining what that odor was to the kids without directly saying "They're smoking weed in the car in front us and the smell is drifting back to us".

Lucky for them, and hopefully everyone else n the road, they turned (illegally) before I could grab a pen. I'm not quick to call the cops, but I surely would have called for that!

Why do people have to turn into complete morons when they get behind the wheel?

Oh, my eyes! Costume fail!

Yesterday started off like most days for me. I took the husband to work, took the midgets to school, and returned home. Like most mornings, I turn on the computer - check my email, read a few blogs, and get on Facebook.

I'm on Facebook, scrolling through my news feed when suddenly...

My eyes! Oh god, my eyes!!

I have never wanted to un-see something so bad in my life.

Let me back up a bit so I can explain something. Say what you will, but I have never been one to watch porn. I honestly have no desire to see another man's goods. My own husband? That's another story. That's what I married him for! Well, that and he's awesome. Other men? They can keep their stuff to themselves, thank you very much!


How is this related to Facebook, you ask? At this point I'm sure you have an idea, but I'll tell you anyway.

There's this guy. We went to school together, from the elementary level up. We were kind of friends when we were young, but as high school came around, we took different paths. I have no idea why he friend requested me on Facebook, but whatever. I accepted. Apparently I have a knack for accepting people when I shouldn't.

In the past, his profile picture has been him laying up in a hospital bed after a night of partying too much. He was nothing short of fucked up in this picture. Personally, I don't think that is something a 30+ year old should be proud of, but whatever.


Anyway, back to scrolling through my news feed. I get maybe halfway down the page when I see that this guy and a few other people have changed their profile pictures. The picture of this guy was small, so dumbass me felt the need to click on it. He was decked out in Halloween gear and I like to see other people's costumes.

Do you remember all the Brett Favre accusations? Not the flirting and similar douchbaggery, but the pictures he was accused of sending out. Yep, that was this guy's costume! From the waist up? A Vikings shirt. From the waist down? Nothing but a pair of panty hose! They were nude in color, and basically, so was he!

Oh god, my eyes!!!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again - the human race as a whole is intelligent, individuals? Not so much!

The human race - mummified

I believe this story falls into my human race category. This is the category which shows that while the human race as a whole is intelligent, individuals are just dumb!

If events like my post-its last week and the one I'm about to share keep happening, I might have to turn this into a weekly thing. Halloween is coming up and we all know this is when the real freaks come out to play!

Moving on to my story...

While listening to a morning show on the radio this morning, I happened to catch some interesting stories. The first was about the making of Human Centipede 2. Never heard of the first? Look it up on YouTube. I dare ya!


That story was followed by this lovely gem. Warning~ it's just as fucked up as a human centipede!

Want to read the full story? Go here


After that, hop over to Only Parent Chronicles for more post-its!

The human race

Many of these individuals can be found on Facebook.

Don't try to deny it! You know exactly who I'm talking about.


For example, there's the one friend I have who wants to sew her ass together because her gas pains are killing her.

Did the world really need to know that? Come on now! That kind of stuff should be between you and your doctor, not your URL friends.

No, I have never met this woman, but I already know more about her than I care to, thank you very much!



Moving on. URL friends are ones you can sometimes avoid when they post embarrassing or just plain stupid shit. It's the IRL life ones you have to worry about. Some day, when you least expect it you will run in to them. Thus coming to the crossroads of do you correct their mistake if they bring it up or simply play along with their stupidity?

Last Sunday my baby bro turned 21. That right there may have been the hardest thing I have ever had to type!

AnyIfeelold, as with most people I wished him a happy birthday. Some of my friends also did the same. After all, most of them watched him grow up.

Before I go any further, let me just clue you in on my age. I am 10 years older than my brother. Simple math will tell you that I was 10 when he was born.


I posted something on my wall about not wanting to admit that my brother is now of legal drinking age. Not that he drinks, but that's irrelevant. What the hell was my friend thinking when she replied with this...

oh-my-wow! I remember when he was born!!! we were twelve years old!!! :o)

This is the friend who is trying to get a job as a teacher. Lord help our education system if she does!