I don't like to lose

Competitions

I love them.

During football and hockey seasons, one can find me on my couch, head to toe team colors, eyes glued to the tv, and possibly profanities escaping my mouth.

During soccer season for the kids one can find me as close to the field as I am allowed, maybe more. Camera in hand, cheering my kids on.

Even though I'm not always very good, I often like to compete with myself. After all, apps in the Android Market Place were meant for me right?
hello 3 versions of Angry Birds!


I've also been known to compete with the husband. Tennis. On the Wii. Because I suck at it in real life.


What I do not like to compete with is the husband's job.

We have been married for over 9 years and I have competed with his jobs since the beginning. The first of those jobs called for early mornings and late nights. Quite often I would fall asleep before he even came home. That job, while it may have sucked, was our life line. With a new baby, I could not work. I couldn't ask him to change something that we desperately needed.

With his current job, he is aways on call. Something breaks? Here comes the husband to swoop in and fix it. However it is rarely an easy fix. Computers rarely cooperate when you need them to. The office hours are thankfully closer to 9-5. Actually 7-4. Even if I didn't take him to and from work, he would almost always be home for dinner. However, work does not stay at work. His smart phone is his lifeline and his computer could pass for our third child. The husband often babysits programs to make sure they continue to work.

He loves his job and I am so glad for that. Finding a job you love with good pay is not always easy to attain. As happy as I am for him, I do not always love his job. If it comes down to dinner out with the family or fixing something for work, work always wins.

I understand he has to do what he has to do. This job gets our bills paid. We are finally at a point financially where we can buy ourselves things we want, but may not necessarily need. Many good things for the husband, as well as me and the kids, have come from this job. And I hope there will be more in the future.

But I don't like that I have to compete with the job.

And I don't like to lose.






19 comments:

Julie said...

I totally sympathize with you - my fiance is a computer tech with a blackberry attached to his hand 24/7. He is always on the internet, looking up the latest deals to help with his stuff. I feel like I'm competing a lot with that little handheld and I'd just like to throw it out into the river one of these days...

Stopping by from Shell's PYHO!

Oka said...

I often have these exact feelings. I have to constantly remind myself, it has to be done. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I also think men are hard wired to put work ahead of their families, for their families.

Kmama said...

I understand. Thankfully, Jdaddy's job is a little more lenient than it sounds like your husband's is, but it still sucks.

amygrew said...

I agree. I hate feeling like I lose out or our family loses out. Not a fun feeling.

Shell said...

Oh, I get it. My husband doesn't have regular hours and work has to win out. And that sucks.

Missy said...

My husband works a TON too. Sadly for us, it's just the way it is here. We miss him a lot though. Sigh. I understand how you feel. Visiting from PYHO today.

Aunt Crazy said...

Stopping by from Shell's place. I think you ripped those words right from inside my head. Uncle Bubba is self-employed. He works, A LOT, leaving me with 2 teenagers. I work too so I'm not as empathetic to his need to work so much as you are but I try really hard to be patient and understanding. Sometimes, I'm good at that, other times, I fail miserably. It's hard to find the right balance.

Di said...

My hubby has his regular job and then a million and one side jobs. Along with family always wanting him to do this or that for him. I finally demanded at least two weekends a month from him!

Anastasia said...

I hear you. I know he has to do it and I'm glad he loves it, but sometimes I just want him to stay home!

Anastasia said...

I hear you. I know he has to do it and I'm glad he loves it, but sometimes I just want him to stay home!

MrsJenB said...

I can relate to this - DH is an IT guy. He's not working now, while caring for his dad, but when he was he always brought work home with him. If not literally working on a website or something of that nature, he was tense and upset from something that happened at the office. After a while I felt as though I was nothing more than a sounding board for him to vent on. Then he'd be too exhausted, mentally and physically, to want to do anything but sleep. What made it worse was the fact that he made peanuts - I made more than he did, and I am just an administrative person. Hardly the same skill level!

I hope you guys can find some sort of balance together, and soon.

MommaKiss said...

wait, 3 versions of angry birds? issues! HA!

My husband & I have had pretty much the same hours - but if he gets this job we're praying he gets - he'll be gone Monday thru Thursday. I'm not ready for that. Talk about balance.

Christine @ Quasi Agitato said...

Is this an American thing? Do other countries put up with this shit? That kind of 24/7 tether to the workplace is totally unfair and seems almost impossible to maintain. How are families supposed to survive that?

angela said...

I am sorry :( That's not a fun competition to be in. My husband works a lot, too, and even though I understand, I don't necessarily LIKE it.

phasesofme said...

I think every woman must feel this way, at least occasionally. It's hard to find that balance when you know he HAS to work, but you need him too!

Tara R. said...

I totally get this. Sometimes my husband works 10-12 hour days and weekends. It can be tough, but I stay at home, and he's the only breadwinner. I don't like the competition either.

Elaine A. said...

This is tough. Although my husband is not "on call" per se, he works A LOT. And I feel like that a lot, that his work takes precedence. But, as you say, it keeps us comfortable and that is worth something. Someday hopefully they won't work as much... *sigh*

Cam said...

it's tough - is it possible to lose AND win at the same time. You may be getting a little bit of both. always sucks when duty calls though.

Mommyfriend Lori said...

Oh boy, I totally hear you. My husband works for a small company is his boss (the owner) is often abroad for months at a time so it's always him eho has to put in the extra time. I hate when he's cheating on me with his job. Hate it.