If I tell you

For the past few PYHOs, Shell has talked about judging others, something I know I am guilty of. I think everyone is guilty of this and if you say you don't judge, you're lying. The only difference is, some are respectful enough to keep their thoughts to themselves.

I am not an expert, nor do I claim to know all of the answers to much of anything, but I do know what I believe. I believe that many of us judge in order to make ourselves feel better about our shortcomings.


I started this blog so I would have a place away from family where I could write about my own fears and shortcomings. I don't want to talk about my kids over here, but I still do. My kids are my safety net. I may feel alone in the moment, but I know other parents have had those days where all you do is scream because your children refuse to listen.

My kids are not the only part of who I am. I have fears and doubts. I have had experiences that still haunt me to this day. I have my own beliefs that I do not express when they may differ from yours. I could write about all of that here. Yet I don't.

I am afraid of being judged.


If I tell you my kids have had cookies for dinner, will you tell me I am a bad parent?


If I tell you some days I would rather crawl back into bed than play with my kids, will you tell me I'm just trying to get some attention?


If I tell you about the night I almost lost my husband, will you chastise me for not trying to prevent it?


If I tell you I'm not sure if there is a God, will you turn and walk away, or preach to me to prove your beliefs?


If I tell you 2 men or 2 women should be granted the same rights as me and my husband, will you shake your head in disgust and tell me how wrong that lifestyle is?



I may mention these things, but fear holds me back from taking it further. I have never received a negative comment, but I fear if I write more about my feelings and beliefs, I will have one. Or many. Or maybe none at all - do you not care or did I scare you away?


I constantly worry about myself and my family. I stand firm in what I believe, except for religion.

I also wear my heart on my sleeve.





13 comments:

Kmama said...

I'm the same way, only I hold back because people i know and love read my blog. If I had a "secret" blog, I'd probably be more open, because that blog would be for me, and only me. I don't know if I would care about what others think.

I think you should be able to blog about whatever you want. Followers will come and go.

Angie said...

Be true to yourself!

Shell said...

I think you would be surprised at the responses you receive. I think that people can listen respectfully.

Maybe not all people- b/c let's face it: there are narrow-minded people out there. But, those who know you would listen.

Karen Greenberg said...

I would love to read posts on all of the topics you mention. I think we are all afraid of judgement to some extent. But, it sounds like you have a lot of great things to say. And whether we admit it or not... I think we have ALL let our kids have cookies for dinner at least once! ;-0)

Stopping by from Pour Your Heart Out.

Oka said...

I agree with Shell, you would be surprised at the responses you'd receive. I can't promise you wouldn't get judged negatively, but I would be willing to take the bet you would have way more positive feed back to outweigh the negative.

Babes Mami said...

make that three for agreeing with Shell, many times I've written about things that I'm convinced won't be well received and debate posting but when I do I get much more positive response then I expected

{Stephanie}The Drama Mama said...

Shell is right. I live in the fear that I will be attacked on my blog...oh wait! I was!!....but I'm stubborn enough to say what I feel like saying. It is my blog, after all. Readers DO come and go. For every one that leaves, there are 3 new ones to replace them. I don't mean to discredit any of mine (or your readers) because I also understand that sometimes the ones that comment regularly are the ones that keep us going. But, those ones that keep us going aren't the ones who are going to walk away because you shared how you felt about gay marriage.

Kim said...

I think you are so right about fear - it's the basis for what most of us do that is negative. Very honest post!

Cheeseboy said...

Hey, you told me all those things (at least I THINK you did) and I am still around. I appreciate bloggers that bare all and are not afraid to put their true feelings out there even if I don't agree with them.

diane rene said...

what would I tell you?
I would tell you, "whew! I'm glad I'm not the only one!" lol

I love this post, and I think you are right, we all judge to some extent. some of us have a working filter that keeps those initial first reactions in our heads, and others ... well ... don't.

anything that causes me to form an instant judgement in my head also causes a reaction in me ... why am I uncomfortable with this? I do not judge anyone based on religion, color, ethnicity, religious or lack of religious preference ... I am not uncomfortable with any of these things. my judgement tends to come when I see people's behavior putting other people in danger ,.. drinking/drugs, child abuse, domestic violence, etc. I have no qualms in expressing my views there, and while I know that it IS being judgmental, I will go as far as hearing someone out (like the sex offender who is on the registry because he was dating his current wife when she was 15 and he was 18), but I will not excuse those who blatantly disregard the life and well being of other individuals.

I for one would love to hear your views on the topics you mentions ... I think I may have hit on most of them in my own blog. ;)

diane rene said...

what would I tell you?
I would tell you, "whew! I'm glad I'm not the only one!" lol

I love this post, and I think you are right, we all judge to some extent. some of us have a working filter that keeps those initial first reactions in our heads, and others ... well ... don't.

anything that causes me to form an instant judgement in my head also causes a reaction in me ... why am I uncomfortable with this? I do not judge anyone based on religion, color, ethnicity, religious or lack of religious preference ... I am not uncomfortable with any of these things. my judgement tends to come when I see people's behavior putting other people in danger ,.. drinking/drugs, child abuse, domestic violence, etc. I have no qualms in expressing my views there, and while I know that it IS being judgmental, I will go as far as hearing someone out (like the sex offender who is on the registry because he was dating his current wife when she was 15 and he was 18), but I will not excuse those who blatantly disregard the life and well being of other individuals.

I for one would love to hear your views on the topics you mentions ... I think I may have hit on most of them in my own blog. ;)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I think it was really brave of you to post all of this. I identify with a LOT of it, and honestly don't judge you for any of it. I really hate the whole judgy Mommy thing, and even when I find myself surprised at something I see someone do, I usually think "to each his own..."

Helene said...

First off, I have to commend you on even putting your deep thoughts out there with the honest question of how much is too much to put out there.

With that said, I think you need to be true to yourself. Your loyal readers and people who care about you will understand and know how to be respectful. Those are the people who accept you for who you are, not who they want you to be.

You may receive a negative comment or two and you may not but look at it this way....when someone takes the time to leave you a comment, it means your writing affected him/her, one way or another. And that's one of the things we all hope for as bloggers...that our words will have an affect on others, even if they don't agree with our views.

So I say....share, vent, write...whatever you need to do to get your story out there.