Can't You See?

I don't always understand those around me and the decisions they make, but I make it a point to learn, empathize, or hopefully begin to understand. Lately, I have run into more people that I care to count who can't seem to look past their noses. They assume I, and my loved ones, would do things the way they would. They assume that we will side with them and turn against flesh and blood. I do not understand those who can't see around themselves. No matter how hard I try, I don't think I ever will.

I will never understand my aunt's claims to be the victim. No matter what she says, she will never make me believe. She is not the victim. She is the controller. She is the one who drives people away. Playing victim to those too kind to tell her the truth will never be acceptable to me.

I will never understand those who think I can drop everything to cater to them. My family and I were invited to a wedding. My mother-in-law planned for months the outfits she would buy my children only to find out last minute they are not invited. Upon my mother-in-law's request, or demand depending on your point of view, we opted out of attending this wedding. Because of those I failed to mail back my RSVP. My MIL, who has been avoiding their calls out of hurt for a week, finally caved and picked up the phone. She explained to the bride's grandmother my family and I cannot go to the wedding because no one is available to watch our children. The grandmother asked if my mother could watch them for the night.

How lovely it would be to have my mother, or anyone, available at the drop of a hat so I can have a much needed night out with adults. But that is not my life and she shouldn't assume that it is.

I will never understand those who believe a charitable donation should only be given to a certain group of people.

My borough is small, yet at the elementary level, it is divided in two. My children's school tries every year to raise money for a local family in need. It is a game for the students. A game they greatly enjoy. And they are all made aware of what they are doing - helping those in need. The family we are helping this year lives on the other side of the borough. How crass of someone, a teacher, to say we should help a family on our side of the borough instead. To me, that is like saying we should only support troops overseas who come from our town.

Quite often I judge and I do so too fast. I keep those opinions to myself so I can open my ears, not my mouth. My judgements may be wrong, but I will never know unless I give the time to learn more about those around me. But no matter how hard I listen, some people I will never understand.

Pour Your Heart Out


Oka said...

Weddings! They are very aggravating to me. Well, at least most are. I am so sick of the selfishness involved with them. I am tired of them being about "the bride".

As for people assuming you can handle situation their way...they may never get their blinders off. Things are the same here for me. I can't turn around at the blink of an eye and have family take my kids so I can have out.

An some people don't get charity at all.

ckbrylliant said...


Shell said...

I don't understand others- a lot of the time. But, I'm trying my hardest to just keep quiet about it. It's hard, though!

Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] said...

I don't understand most people, most of the time, too. I guess it takes all kinds, right? I'm sorry the bride's grandmother assumed you had a babysitter available at a moment's notice. Isn't it always assuming that gets us into trouble?

Jackie said...

Is it just me, or do weddings seem to bring out the worst in people?

Adrienne said...

What's really exhausting is trying to understand them. I gave up doing that! Some people are beyond understanding.

Helene said...

I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut in situations like that but I'm getting better with age, I suppose you could say.