A blessing in disguise

Life isn't always easy. Everything we do we must put effort into if we want to succeed. Marriage is the same way.

I think many of us go into it expecting wedded bliss. I was one of those people. I had been with the same man for many years. What was there not to know about him? As I've come to realize through different phases in my life - there is always more to learn.

Shortly after starting our lives as newlyweds as well as first time parents, I noticed a change in the husband. Perhaps it was always there and I turned a blind eye. Weekly nights out with the boys turned into twice a week, sometimes three. Quite often he would not come home til morning. I would protest. I would plea. For a while, those nights out became rare. But it would only last a short time.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see a crossroads. I knew if this life continued I would have to make a decision. To stay or to go? As that crossroads loomed in the distance, our lives began to change. The husband found a new job. Nights out were once again becoming rare. That crossroads was beginning to fade as our lives took another path.

We were enjoying our lives on this new road, but we were unaware of the dangers ahead. Tragedy would strike that would forever change our lives. It is not an experience either of us would choose to go through again, but in hindsight, it was a blessing in disguise.

This tragedy has changed the man I love. It changed him for the better. We are closer now than we ever were. I am thankful everyday for the blessing in disguise, but I always wondered if others realized the change in him. In us.

While enjoying good food and good drinks, I had a conversation with a mutual friend. It was brought to my attention that I am the reason for the change. I am the glue that binds. In my mind my pleas fell on deaf ears. It almost took the life of someone I love for change to happen. At least that was my interpretation.

I also received an apology, for this man was the one who was out all those late nights with my husband. I always knew where my husband was and what he was doing. That never made it any easier. To know that someone else is stepping up and realizing their part in the roller coaster ride that was our marriage helps. Perhaps the tides have turned. Perhaps my husband is now what others need to realize the change they need to make.


Oka said...

It sure takes some people (often the man) a bit longer to "grow up".

Kimberly said...

It sucks that tragedies are the things that create change. So glad that your change is moving forward in the right direction.

Kmama said...

I'm glad things are moving in the right direction and that you can get some closure on the past...knowing that other people were involved and that you are the glue that binds!

Brandy@YDK said...

it amazing how life can just lead us certain ways

Babes Mami said...

It's interesting how things lead you from the dark parts of life to wonderful things!

Welcome To Mommyland said...

We all feel like we are talking to the wall - with hubby and the kids.

Glad things are better for you.

Erin said...

I'm relieved things have turned around and I'm happy you wrote about it here....I can't imagine what all this must've been like and I am proud of you for sharing it.


Mommyfriend Lori said...

You are simply awesome for posting such honesty. Bless you, I know this post wasn't easy and I know reaching this frame of mind wasn't either. I am so glad to hear you are closer than ever.<3