Why you shouldn't be a prostitute

It's funny the things you see when you take your 10 year old daughter out for a shopping trip and a snack.

The husband and I have a date night this weekend and I wanted a pair of fancy black tights to go with my dress. My daughter loves to shop, even if it's just window shopping, so I took her with me.  It was a quick trip to Target, even though I did walk out with more than I planned.  A quick trip like this doesn't usually work up an appetite, but by the time GG and I hit the check out, she was "staaaarrrrrr-ving!!!"  My skinny little girl can eat like the typical teenage boy!

After paying, we headed over towards the snack bar when she said she wanted mac 'n' cheese.  You have to get the whole kids meal to get mac 'n' cheese and I wasn't doing that.  I told her we would drive down the road and stop at Sheetz.  They have mac 'n' cheese.

We drove down the road, avoiding construction cones and pot holes that seem to be on every. stinkin. road in this forsaken city.  As I went to make the turn into Sheetz, I noticed the light show provided by a local police car.  I assumed someone was pulled over for blowing a red light or speeding, but as I drove by, I noticed a young woman being cuffed.

In an effort to distract GG who likes all things sparkly and flashy, I started telling her about all the trips to Sheetz I made when I was younger and the crazy food I got with my friends.  She laughed at me, but I did not sway her from the decision to eat mac 'n' cheese.  We ordered, paid, and GG asked if we could sit at one of the tables outside so she could eat her food while it was still hot.  Assuming the light show was gone because once your arrested, everyone pretty much leaves the scene, I said yes.  I assumed wrong.

Sitting at the table outside is when I realized that we were witnessing an undercover prostitution bust.  Why?  Let me explain...

A total of 3 vehicles were pulled over.  The first, a gray car.  The driver was a plain clothed police man/  The second, a minivan.  The driver of said minivan was handed papers from the uniformed police man in vehicle number 3.  Minivan man was also told to drive off after the girl was cuffed.  Upon closer inspection of the girl, her booty shorts and too-small tank could have fit my 10 year old!  Am I again making assumptions?  Probably.  But it sure was funny watching her argue with the cops from the back of the patrol car, while trying to wriggle out of the cuffs.  I really hope the minivan man wasn't married.  Then it would be a sucky night for both of them.

I realize it's cruel of me to laugh at other's misfortune, but this situation is why you should never be a prostitute.  Or try to pick one.  Or if you are a prostitute or pick one up, don't get caught!

Nebby pickers

My midgets were supposed to be cleaning up their mess in the living. What was actually happening was them asking a thousand and one questions about a truck parked across the street.

Our neighbor's ex (I think) has a truck. Perhaps it was him. Mr. Shortman across the street has a too big truck. Perhaps he was, yet again, trying to get it into his driveway in one attempt.

At first I tried to ignore the questions, but being nebby myself, their questions got the better of me. I finally looked out the window. A white truck was parked across the street. I finally asked question one thousand and two - where was the driver?

The driver was on our side of the street with his passenger looking though people's trash. Of course! Why didn't we think of trash pickers in the first place?!

By the looks of what was in the bed of that truck, I assumed they were looking for scrap metal and such that they could turn around and make some money from. But then I took a closer look.





I don't know about you, but I see a metal headboard, a couch, perhaps a dresser, and I do believe that's a washer and dryer set sticking out of the back. Upon further inspection, I noticed the washer, dryer, and couch were all bungeed to the truck. Because bungee cords are going to keep all that heavy stuff in place as they drive up the hill.

I'm so glad I was in my house at the time and not in the car behind them!

Made for TV

I realize that sometimes I make mountains out of mole hills, but this time it really is a mountain!

Once a week for the past month, maybe 2, there has been a mountain of trash a few doors up from me.

It's not really that extreme,
but some weeks it doesn't seem too far off.

It started with the new neighbors 2 months ago. I still can't figure out why someone would have so much shit to throw away after moving in. Isn't is typical to throw stuff out before you pack it?

Or maybe that's just me.

New neighbors' pile o' shit seems to have subsided, but I think they triggered something with the family who lives between us. Just like me, this family lives in half a duplex. There's is a 3 bedroom I do believe, but it's still not much bigger than our dinky 2 bedroom.

Every week there are numerous bags of trash. And I don't mean the Febreze scented, extra stretchy bags you have in your kitchen that give you wind-blown hair when you open them. I'm talking about heavy duty, giant contractor bags. FYI ~ the contractor bags are 40 gallons. You could fit a small child in that sucker. Actually a lot of small children!

Add to the pile of bags some boxes, miscellaneous furniture, and/or car parts. I walk back into my house and wonder "Where the fuck is all that shit coming from?!"


As of today, I am convinced that they belong here.


Oh, that reminds me. I have my own bags o' crap that need taken to the curb. It was birthday weekend around here. Maybe my pile o' crap can give theirs a run for their money!

Um, you do realize that's not actually my house?
Do you think I would post it if it really was?