The meaning behind

We would stay to the left while walking up the stairwell, afraid they would fall on us. When the warmer weather, came they would gather in corners. Hundreds upon hundreds.

There are many things I learned while at my first college, but the meaning behind my first tattoo is one I will never forget.

Sophomore year. My roommate, she was a rebel. A rebel with tattoos. Wanting to add to her collection, she convinced a mutual friend and I we needed one, too. I scrounged up sixty dollars. A lot for a poor college girl. We drove to a shop in the middle of nowhere. All I could afford was a small tattoo. Flipping through the artist's portfolio, I saw a ladybug and it took me back to that stairwell, where hundreds gathered in the corners.





My ladybug has since faded, but the memories are strong. I have added to my collection. The ladybug wasn't alone in that stairwell, and it won't be alone on me.

My green dragon flying free. Somewhere I'd like to think that they do exist.



My flowers for my children, who continue to grow like weeds. Each flower represents the month of their birth.




Finally my flowers. A safe place for my ladybug to land. A reminder that I must continue to grow as I age.



My body is a temple. A temple to worship, protect, and decorate. I often wonder what will be next and what meaning it will hold.




Write a piece in which a tattoo figures prominently. Word count - 300. I have 246.
My apologies for the poor picture quality. It's not easy to take pictures of your own body!

Concrit welcome. As well as tattoo ideas!

This is how we do it

I'm sure I've mentioned in the past that I love to shop. For goodness sakes, I have a "Shopaholic" label on more than one post! As much as I love to shop, I also love a good deal. The other night I hit the mother load of good deals.

My midgets went back to school this week. A-fucking-men!! But unlike most of their friends, my kids went back to school with, gasp, old tennis shoes! Major fail on my part, but in my defense, we hit some financial bumps earlier in the month that we are rebounding from. That may or may not be related to that "shopaholic" label I just referred to.


So anyway, let's forget about that bump and continue with my kick ass deal, k?

I took the midgets to Payless. Back to school means a huge buy one, get one half off sale. On everything. I also scored a 20% off my entire purchase coupon.

Each child found a pair of shoes that suits (and fits) them perfectly. Since I had that extra coupon, I though I would get myself a pair of shoes. I resisted the urge to buy yet another pair of boots. Not only would the husband kill me, but none of them had heels. Seriously, where can a girl get a gorgeous pair of sleek black boots with a heel? Sheesh!

While I was looking, my girl found herself a pair of boots. Must be hereditary. The pair she found were the exact ones she wanted last year but could never find in her size. I sent a text to the husband about a budget. Once I had a number, I did the math and we went ahead and grabbed the last pair of those lovely boots in her size. I also grabbed myself some pretty pink tennis shoes and a few extras for my boy.





Let me break down everything in that picture.....

What we could have paid, rounded to the nearest dollar to make the math simple for me...

Boy shoes $14
Girl shoes $15
My shoes $21
Girl boots $37
Umbrella $10
Sunglasses $6

Total $103

That's really not all that bad, but I expected to pay closer to $75 with the discounts factored in.

What I actually paid.....

$50

I was nothing short of stupid excited when I saw that 5 and the 0. Somehow those $37 boots rang up as $14. Maybe it was a glitch, but I surely wasn't going to say a word.


What's the best deal you ever got on something?

Two become one

Prompt #1~ "write a formal complaint letter to your deepest, darkest fear."

It's not exactly formal, but than again, neither am I!

If you have any advice on escaping my fear, please let me know.









To whom it may concern,


Do I really need to call you out by name? I didn't think so. We need to talk. I have some issues with you and I've realized that I need to get you out of my life.

I hide from you. I pretend you're not there. But no matter what I do, you always end up right next to me. I'm starting to feel like a prisoner in my own home. That almost scares me more than you do.

The hold you have on me is so constricting. Every night, all I want to do is sit on the couch and relax. I want to be able to enjoy Hines dancing the night away. I want to be able to watch my boys catch some crab. I'd love to find out what's going to happen to Meredith and Callie, but you keep interrupting me.

Right there in my face. Take me, enjoy me - I swear I can hear you scream. If I continue to give in, I fear that I may become you. Together, forever, in a downward spiral.


Please chocolate chip cookies, stay out of my house!


Sincerely,

Questions from a tired mind

Yesterday was a long day. I had to do the mom thing all day with a sick kid. She was throwing up. It wasn't pretty. Even with my own kid, that's one bodily function that I don't always handle so well.

With all the running around I did all day, because heaven forbid I keep all my sick supplies in one place, I was quite tired. By the end of the evening, I was done. Stick a fork in me. I took a shower, not only to escape, but to disinfect. I don't do sick so well myself. I turn into a whiny I want my mommy person. It's ugly!

My plan was to watch some crappy tv and just veg out. There were so many things spinning in my head and I wanted to blog in the worst way. I needed to get those thoughts and stories out, but forming a sentence was close to impossible. Until a certain commercial for a new show came on.

For lack of better things on, I ended up watching Intervention. I've seen too many people struggle with addiction in my own personal life, so I can relate to the show. But I also like happy endings. I get really pissed when the people don't make it out sober.

I normally ignore commercials, but one for a new show caught my attention - Relapse. It's crazy that we live in a world where these shows not only exist, but thrive. But at the same time I have to wonder....

If people who start off on Intervention relapse and end up in an episode of Relapse, is that the same thing as a rerun?

A blessing in disguise

Life isn't always easy. Everything we do we must put effort into if we want to succeed. Marriage is the same way.

I think many of us go into it expecting wedded bliss. I was one of those people. I had been with the same man for many years. What was there not to know about him? As I've come to realize through different phases in my life - there is always more to learn.


Shortly after starting our lives as newlyweds as well as first time parents, I noticed a change in the husband. Perhaps it was always there and I turned a blind eye. Weekly nights out with the boys turned into twice a week, sometimes three. Quite often he would not come home til morning. I would protest. I would plea. For a while, those nights out became rare. But it would only last a short time.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see a crossroads. I knew if this life continued I would have to make a decision. To stay or to go? As that crossroads loomed in the distance, our lives began to change. The husband found a new job. Nights out were once again becoming rare. That crossroads was beginning to fade as our lives took another path.

We were enjoying our lives on this new road, but we were unaware of the dangers ahead. Tragedy would strike that would forever change our lives. It is not an experience either of us would choose to go through again, but in hindsight, it was a blessing in disguise.


This tragedy has changed the man I love. It changed him for the better. We are closer now than we ever were. I am thankful everyday for the blessing in disguise, but I always wondered if others realized the change in him. In us.



While enjoying good food and good drinks, I had a conversation with a mutual friend. It was brought to my attention that I am the reason for the change. I am the glue that binds. In my mind my pleas fell on deaf ears. It almost took the life of someone I love for change to happen. At least that was my interpretation.

I also received an apology, for this man was the one who was out all those late nights with my husband. I always knew where my husband was and what he was doing. That never made it any easier. To know that someone else is stepping up and realizing their part in the roller coaster ride that was our marriage helps. Perhaps the tides have turned. Perhaps my husband is now what others need to realize the change they need to make.

I need it and I can't have it

Why is it that you never truly want something until you can't have it. Even better than want, you need it! Right now!


This weekend is going to be one of those weekends.

What I want, what I truly need, won't even be in this state. My lover will be 467.77 miles away.

There will be no strutting around in a gorgeous pair of sleek, knee-high black boots. The kind that have just enough of a heel to make your ass look nothing short of perfect. No parading around in that cute little tee. Music? Movies? Won't need them. Ice cream and hot fudge? I may get them, even if I'm not in the mood for them.

4 days. That's what I have to wait before I can get what I want. I am not a patient person! When I want something, I want it now. I am really not happy that I can't travel 467.77 miles to get what I need. In fact I'm downright pissed off about it!

The husband is in Chicago and won't return until Monday night. This is going to be a long, long weekend!



You do realize I'm talking about shopping, right?



Maybe

I need an intervention

I had this whole entire post in my head for yesterday. I was finally ready to come clean. But then my addiction had to rear it's ugly head. Again!

I do believe the first step is to actually admit that you have a problem. And I do.

I was doing so well. Then the time came for the bake sale.

Damn it all to hell!




The Girl Scouts hold a bake sale for election day. Since I like to torture myself am involved in that organization, I not only had to sit and woman the table for 2 excruciatingly long hours, but I had to bake stuff for the stupid thing!

As if sitting there doing everything but poking my out with a spoon wasn't bad enough, I was surrounded by a bunch of 8 year old girls! Do you know what happens when one is surrounded by a gaggle of girls? It's not pretty. Nor is it quiet!

Enough bitching and back to my addiction.

I think it's time for me to come clean.


I am an addict.

My vice...

Peanut butter crackers, Reese's, Giardelli peanut butter filled squares (thank you, MIL!), PB&J, peanut butter and goldfish crackers...

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you. Truth be told, this is a serious problem. I need an intervention people!

Not only did I just take the midgets trick-or treating. And holy shit, did we get a ton of junk! But I had to sit at a table surrounded by baked goods. Some of which had peanut butter as an ingredient!



If anyone knows the number to Peanut Butter Anonymous, please send it my way! But could you do me a favor and wait until Monday? Mother Nature, aka Queen Bitch, has decided to throw that nasty 4 letter "s" word into the forecast this coming weekend. And I don't mean shit!

At least I hope not. If shit falls from the sky, I think it's safe to say we're all screwed!