I have my days

Just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)




I'm tired of getting up early. I'm tired of rushing around like a maniac. Most of all I am tired of being late.

Days like today I just want to say fuck you!


I do not like having to drive you to work everyday, but I know if I don't, we will be up shit creek with out a paddle, financially speaking. I do not like having to sit in ungodly, unexplainable traffic. I do not like getting stuck behind every jackass that feels the need to make an impossible left turn. Most of all, I do not like walking our children into their school late.

Some piss poor decisions were made that led us to where we are today. We have worked through a lot and for the most part, our lives are much better off now than they were a few years ago. But getting everything back on the right track is not an easy thing to do. There is no quick fix and we must all suffer the repercussions of your decisions.

Some may think it would have been easier for me to walk away and avoid this all together, but I am not one to walk away when things get messy. I hold my vows to a high degree. For better or worse, we are in this together.

But that doesn't mean I don't have days where I want to say fuck you.

My detachable penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes

But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.

I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

No, I'm not trying to pull one over on you. I'm all girl. I was never very good at lying anyway! I heard this on the radio last night (I love XM radio!). It's my new favorite song!

FYI - it helps to have someone with you in the car so you don't look like a complete cracking the hell up!


*lyrics courtesy of King Missile*

Grow up already, will ya?

I know I'm not alone in this.

Most people seem to have one.

Sometimes more than one.


What exactly am I referring to, you ask?

The crazy relative.

It seems no matter what you do or how hard you try to ignore them, they never go away.

My crazy relative is an "aunt". I use that term loosely because she's only an aunt by marriage and quite frankly, after the shit she has pulled, I'm hesitant to attach that title with her name.

She has married not 1, but 2 of my uncles, which is how she received her title of aunt. Her relationship with Uncle #2 has been anything but good. She is very controlling, verbally abusive, and rather selfish. My uncle decided to leave her, which is when our eyes were opened to her true personality and made us question what really happened with her marriage to Uncle #1. He decided to return and work on the marriage. None of us agree, but he's grown. He can do whatever he wants.

Communication by most of the family with her and my uncle has become almost non-existent, but she still tries to work her way back in. At one point she wrote a letter to my Grandma. This letter was very disrespectful and basically blamed her and other family members for their failing marriage. That sent my Grandma to tears and pissed off a lot of us. You do NOT disrespect my Grandma!!!

Since then, my aunt tries to sneak in phone calls to my mom when my uncle isn't home. My aunt wants my mom to pass messages along to my Grandma. Um... I don't think so, bitch! My mom doesn't like you anymore than the rest of us.

My Grandma has problems with her heart to begin with. That letter certainly didn't help and the continued attempts only add insult to injury. My mom telling my Grandma she has a message from crazy aunt days after she had a heart attack? I don't think so, honey!



*Yes, my Grandma had a heart attack last week. A small one and she's ok, but a heart attack is a heart attack. I'm not ready to blog about how I feel about that, but she is ok.*



I don't know why crazy aunt thinks my mom is on her side, because she sure as shit isn't! Wouldn't you think hanging up on a person repeatedly is a sure sign they don't like you? I do, but crazy aunt doesn't seem to get that.

The shit she pulls reminds me of when my BFF and I would get into fights. In the 6th grade! We would have a mutual friend deliver messages to the other. As an adult, that's not something you do!

I wish she would grow up and realize that we really don't give a flying fuck what she does. Heaven help her if she ever comes up here to visit. It may be a one way trip for her!